(Update: At some point in the not so near future we will be re-releasing the movie with full soundtrack. In the meantime, watch the movie trailer below. Grab a Kleenex!)

“I just want a walkable town, that’s all,” I pleaded to Salisbury Mayor Barrie Tilghman as she strutted around me and my cameraman, switching a Cat o’ nine tails back and forth in her hand.

Earlier in the day our camera equipment had been destroyed by the Po-leece, and we had been arrested for “operating under one’s own power without a vehicle” and having rear-ends that “unfairly brought attention to the enormity of the average American’s rear,” among other charges, and now we were before the town mayor shackled and remorseful.

My cameraman was the first to withstand the unrelenting beating from the mayor’s sidekick, Public Zoning Director Jack Lenox, who administered the punishment with rolled up old Salisbury Mall and new Village at Salisbury Lake blueprints. “This…is…how…we…do…it!” he cried, spacing each word out by a thrashing with the horrid redevelopment plans.

When my friend said, “Hey, wasn’t that a rap song by Montell Jordan? Yeah, it had lyrics like Its friday night, and I feel all right…It feels so good in my hood tonight…The party is here on the west side…All the gang bangers forgot about the drive-by,” a torrent of paper blows began raining down on the cowering cameraman.

I implored again, “I just want a walkable town!”

“For the love of God!” I roared out, “have you no mercy?”

Mayor Barrie stumbled over to me looking quite soused, growled at Jack to “Lay off ‘em!”, and grabbed my legs and trussed them together with my foot soles up in the air.

Breathing a frightening mixture of decay, misery, and alcohol, she whispered into my ear, “You wanna walk? Lets see you walk then, you cynical little man!” She promptly began laying into the soles of my poor feet with that Cat o’ nine tails with ferocious abandon, only pausing now and then when winded and for a sip out of a 40 ounce glass container.

There was a smile on my face as I began to black out. Just before our arrest we had handed off The Downtown Disaster video footage to a cohort employed specifically for such a purpose in the event of any confiscations or censorship. Now the whole world would know the true story of what happened to Salisbury, Maryland, a beautiful little town in the countryside that was blacktopped, big-boxed, and bamboozled away from its quaintness.

Practically every town in America has banned this video. Mike “Black Boot” Goodson at local Salisbury public television station PAC14 was the first to ban the video’s airing, and towns across America followed suit. Currently, The Downtown Disaster video is being surreptitiously hosted on Google video, but with Google actively participating with the Chinese to censor their comrades’ access to Google search results the video’s viewership looks meager, at least within China.

[Update! Movie Trailer Taken Down by Mayor Barrie. Stay tuned... working on it]

*Note: In the not so immediate future we will be re-releasing The Downtown Disaster movie on DVD in crystal clear video and sound for you to relive the horror of a small town being eviscerated and demolished at your own convenience!